Ok I admit, I didn’t even know who YoungBoy was prior to all the shenanigans when the story broke about his girlfriend. If you have been missing out on your social media updates, the feeds were full of updates regarding him allegedly forcing his girlfriend to sleep in a hotel lobby while he entertained other women in his hotel room. Of course, someone took pictures of her and posted them online, but she further fueled the fire by making videos trying to say everyone was blowing it out of proportion. Later more photos surfaced of him taking her shopping to make it up to her.

Everyone is in a tizzy about this, but lets look at it realistically.

• First, she is only 17 so perhaps she just does not have the maturity yet to fully know her worth. Let’s be honest, there are grown women who have accepted some of the same treatment if not more for years.

• We are not in their relationship, perhaps they had a clear understanding from the very beginning that there would be some type of open door policy.

• In her mind, this may be all she thinks she deserves. Or worse, she may see it as a sign of someone who really loves her.

Now on some grown woman ish, lets be brutally honest. How many of us know grown women who accept being disrespected on the regular?? This is not some weird thing that only happens when a man is a celebrity. We have all been there – perhaps not to this degree – but we were probably fortunate enough to have friends, family or dang strangers ready to shake some sense into us.

In that light, perhaps instead of bashing her, we should pray for her. Hopefully someone close to her can be there for her when she really concludes she deserves better. But as women, we have got to stop bashing and start supporting and guiding the younger generation into the type of women they truly have the capability to be.

At some point we have all gone through something in our past that impacted the way we feel, what we believe and how much we trust others. Perhaps it was a father that was never there, a boyfriend who lied consistently or a husband that completely failed to understand what fidelity meant. Some women are able to deal with their experiences then and there and move on without a second thought. Then there are the others, women that hold on to the hurt, the anger or the animosity. Women who just cant let it go.

At some point we have all been told to forgive and forget. The problem is that it is so hard to do for a lot of women. But consider this; while you are holding on to what someone else did, they are living their lives without a second thought or a glimmer of guilt. Yes forgiving someone can be difficult, even more so if they have never apologized or even admitted any wrongdoing.

What good is holding on to the hurt or anger doing for you? It will erode any new relationships you try to formulate. Let’s say your father was never around and you have abandonment issues or a fear of not being good enough. Every man that comes into your life will have to deal with that baggage and be put to the test consistently. Or perhaps you were involved with a man that was always dishonest about something; money, women or just life. Now a perfectly good man coming into your life will have to prove himself to you over and over again because of your trust issues. Is that fair to him? Why should he have to pay for someone else’s mistakes?

We have all been through something, but part of growing up is learning to accept that it happened, deal with it and move on with your life. You are forgiving them to free yourself, not because they deserve it but because you do. You deserve the kind of relationship and love that can only be derived if you have freed yourself from the past and the hurt you have endured. Take a deep breath and let it go, starting here and now. Stop blaming them for what they did and start living your life 100% free of the anger and pain.