Tag Archive | Family

Not Everyone Will Support Your Next Level!

You are finally making all the changes you have talked about forever. Instead of just talking the talk, you are walking the walk. The weird thing is, not everyone seems to be happy for you. Sometimes you would be surprised who supports you evolving and who may try to ambush your forward motion. If you are feeling the backlash of your attempts to move to the next level, here are a few steps to help you out.

• Know when it’s time to let go. For some people, change is quite simply overrated. They are much more content staying in the same place with as little change to life as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes that person also feels threatened by your need to change. If you have already tried talking to someone to explain what your changes mean to you and requested their support to no avail, it may simply be time to accept they will never be there in the capacity you hoped for and let go.

• Negative Energy is just a waste of time and energy. You know the people I mean, they never seem to be happy about anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever. If you know someone is always super negative, you may want to try to limit some of your interactions with them to shorter time spans whenever possible. Sometimes there are people you simply can’t eliminate entirely because you work with them or perhaps they are family. But you can certainly try to keep your interactions to a minimum whenever possible. All that negative energy takes a toll and limits your energy which in turn impacts your progress in the things you are trying to do.

• Love from a distance. Some people mean well, they really do. But they don’t always understand that putting down your efforts to change or constantly trying to question why is not supportive. In their minds they may really think holding you back is in your best interest. While you may love your Aunt Jane, her constant attempts to convince you that women belong at home in the kitchen can become annoying. Loving someone does not mean you need to do so up close and personal on a regular basis. If you need to pull back for your own sanity, do so.

• Seasons change. We have all heard the sayings about people being in our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. As much as it may hurt, sometimes we just must accept that someone’s season is over. Let me give you an example, one friend I met a long time ago during a very dark period in my life seemed great, until I started to move on and make changes to get out of that darkness. Finally, I had to accept that she preferred me down or depressed because that’s how she always was. My changes were like a threat to the friendship, as they say negativity breeds negativity.

How do you typically handle people who don’t support your attempts to improve or get better? Have you ever let it make you give up entirely?

Take a Rest Recreation Carefree Concept

The Royal Wedding

LOS ANGELES - JAN 19:  Meghan Markle at the NBC TCA Winter 2014

As the Royal Wedding draws near, there is a lot of media frenzy around the bride’s estranged family. Although it has been noted in several venues that Meghan has not spoken to several of the relatives on her fathers side in several years, much less spent any time with them, they keep speaking out. Of course, all the interviews and social media outreach they have done has been negative and disparaging against Meghan.

Now the question is, what could they possibly have to say, what insight could they possibly really give about someone that they have not spoken to or seen in years?? Of course, in this instance it really could just be people trying very hard to get their 15 minutes of fame. Or perhaps there is simply some jealousy there, because why should she have all this attention and fame? How dare she? What makes her so special?

Perhaps what they really need to realize and accept is Meghan put in the work to take her career exactly where she wanted to go prior to any relationship. There is no reason her extended family could not buckle down and pursue their own goals if they wanted to reach accomplishments in their field. As far as her relationship, she met someone and fell in love. Should she feel guilty because of his status or because of who he is? Should she not marry him and forgo happiness just to make them feel better about themselves? Of course not.

At the same time, they are trying really hard to make her look like a villain for not inviting them to her wedding. But let’s get real. Why on earth would you want people at your wedding that you have not spoken to in years, have no real relationship with and who drags your name through the mud at the first chance they get??

While most of us are not celebrities having weddings of this stature, the same principle applies to us. Your wedding is meant to be a special day for you and your significant other to celebrate your love and commitment with the people closest to you in life. You should not have to feel obligated to invite people simply to avoid them saying negative things about you or to appease what people think. What experience have you had with your wedding or those of others that included negative antics from family? How was it handled? Do you have any advice for Meghan as she launches into the next phase of her life as a new bride?