You would be surprised how many times a month someone makes a comment about how great my marriage is or how its ‘couple goals’. While I appreciate the sentiment, it’s not actual life. No relationship is perfect, despite what social media may display. We may not fight but trust me we do get on each other’s nerves on occasion. He leaves lights on in EVERY SINGLE ROOM, I like to put my cold hands on him to warm them up. You know, typical stuff.
My point is, stop comparing your life or your relationships to people you view on social media, in magazines or on television. You do realize they are all only showing you the parts they want you to see right? Well except the people with the vague comments and posts that they hope their significant other sees that lets everyone else but them know there is a problem. But I digress. There are people who waste time comparing themselves to others they don’t even know instead of enjoying what they have right in front of them!
Since we are on the subject, let’s talk about the single people as well. A lot of single people watch couples on social media and let it make them feel less than. Why? Just because someone has a significant other does not mean they are happy with that person or their lives. So many of us wasted so much time wishing and searching for a man that we missed out on a lot of life.
How many times have you passed on an invitation to go somewhere or try something new just because you didn’t have a date? Forget that! You are missing out on so many experiences and memories to be made.
I personally recall avoiding several events back in the day because I didn’t want to feel out of place attending alone. You know what ends up happening? People finally stop inviting you or you look back and realize all the things you missed out on experiencing. Life is not meant to be put on hold until you are part of a couple. The more life you live as a single person, the more well rounded you will be when
How many times do you start the conversation off by putting yourself down? Telling someone new everything that you perceive to be wrong with you? Or perhaps you spend a lot of time explaining what went wrong in all your past relationships. Either way, it’s a bad start. The idea of dating, whether you like it or not, is about selling yourself. Showing someone how great you are and why they should be dying to get to know more about you. Wasting a lot of time degrading yourself completely defeats the ultimate goal. Don’t ever sell yourself short. If you have things about yourself that you don’t like, fix it! But don’t dwell on it or let it keep you from enjoying life!
He was absolutely perfect. He did everything right, no flaws and no imperfections. Romantic, honest, passionate…..the total package. Then why is he your ex?
Sometimes as women we have a tendency to change the past in our minds. Improving on the good memories and completely forgetting the bad. By the time we are done we have put that man on a pedestal, making him into something no other man can compete with.
Now every man you meet fails to meet these fantasy expectations of a past you have embellished so much that even you have trouble remembering what’s real. A reality that is not fair to you or the new man in your life. Just like we say a good man should not have to pay for the mistakes of a bad man, a new man should not have to compete against someone else.
If you are constantly comparing, perhaps you are not as ready as you think to date. Take some time to figure out what you need and want. Take things slowly. The first step, is dealing with the past. Take a good hard look at what really happened. Knock that pedestal over. If he had been Mr. Perfect, he would still be with you. But for some reason he is not, which means he is either not perfect for you or not perfect for you right now. Either way, you have to move on and live your life. Don’t let your past hinder the possibility of meeting someone that really is meant to be your future.