This damn pandemic has caused a lot of change for everyone, especially the inability to interact with people like normal. Due to that lack of social interaction, I have been working hard to increase the way I reach out to others. Since the pandemic started well over a year ago, I have made it a point to send more cards and gifts to people because I really wanted to make sure people felt cared about and seen in such a trying time.

What has been interesting have been the responses, or lack thereof. There are a lot of people who just never even bother to acknowledge a gift received, not even just simply to confirm they got it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean children. Children get a free pass, because well, they are children. But grown ass adults are another thing altogether.

While venting about this recently to my husband, he tried to get me to see it differently by reminding me I give without expecting anything in return. That part is true, I have always liked getting people gifts and I do not ever feel that requires getting a gift back. HOWEVER. I do expect acknowledgement of my effort. Even if you don’t like the gift you can say, hey thanks for thinking of me.

The more time I have spent thinking about this lately, my mind has changed a lot. I felt like I was doing this to make others feel less alone, but I realize I was also doing it so that I felt less alone as well.

The petty side of me says if someone is not appreciative, do not ever send them anything else, stop wasting time on people who don’t care about your feelings. The nurturing side keeps arguing that point like the Angel on the other shoulder. Stopping only means changing who I am, and you really do not want to let a few people change your inner light. Be who you are, even if you must find the right people who will appreciate that person.

You read it correctly, I really asked you to tell your ex Thank You. Call them up, send them a text, drop an email, thank them for treating you poorly, cheating, not being honest etc. Sound crazy? Not really. Think about it, you went through hell with that person, perhaps you dated a woman who never had time for you, preferred hanging in the club to taking care of her man. Or perhaps you are a woman who had to deal with someone who wanted to hang with his boys or lay on your couch all day, failing to give you the time or attention you needed. Thank them anyway.

Thank them for teaching you what you will not allow, for teaching you how you want and deserve to be treated. Of course the key is that you have learned from the experience and you are making changes in the type of people you allow in your life next time. Besides, having experienced someone who treats you poorly will increase your appreciation for someone who treats you well and prevent you from taking them for granted.