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Are You Prepared?

When it comes to your relationship, you may be happy and perhaps even still in that honeymoon phase. But what if that changes tomorrow? For whatever reason, your significant other may blindside you out of nowhere and decide they want out. Are you prepared?

Truth be told, as women, we sometimes expect happily ever after to be just like the fairy tales we read growing up. You know, really be happily ever after. Unfortunately, that’s just not always reality. So, let’s take a moment and really think about it.

Emotionally

Are your friends still your friends, or have you gotten so caught up in the we that you forgot about the me? When was the last time you hung out with your girlfriends or lost track of time on the phone? Most of them were there before you met him so why have you stopped keeping them high on your priority list as well? Keep in mind, if your relationship ends tomorrow, these are the same people that you will need to cry, vent or drink with!

Have you maintained your interests? You know the things you were passionate about. Your dreams, hobbies and career goals. Just because you became a couple does not mean who you are must be completely given up. Do you think men give up all their interests just because of you? Then why do we? Its mostly just something engrained in us from childhood that makes us want to make our lives 100% about someone else. But what ends up happening is that we then start looking at someone else to make us happy and that’s just not their responsibility.

Financially

If only I had a dime for every time a woman stayed with a man simply because she didn’t feel she could survive on her own. Well what if you don’t have a choice? What if he just leaves? Are you going to be ok? If you know you won’t be, do something about it now. Find a supplemental income or change careers if you need to. If things end unexpectedly you do not want to stress about how you will manage on top of being an emotional basket case.

Physically

Why is it when a man leaves, we go through this sudden need to completely revamp ourselves? Suddenly we lose weight, change our hair or our clothing in effort to show him what he’s missing. While that’s all fine and good, why can’t we that now? Don’t be complacent in how you take care of yourself or maintain your confidence, only to have to get it all body slammed later. Whether in a relationship or out, always make sure you are doing the work to maintain your confidence at its highest level. And no, I’m not saying everyone has to lose weight to do that. Some women are happy in the skin they are in. But if that’s not you, let’s put in the work now.

I guess my point is this. If you are suddenly blind sided by a relationship ending. I want you to be prepared and able to dust your self off and tell him to keep stepping. Yes, it will be an emotional roller coaster for you, we have all been there at some point. But make sure you have what it takes to handle your life just find when the dust settles.

Comparison is a Waste of Time

Upset woman ignoring affectionate couple in pub

You would be surprised how many times a month someone makes a comment about how great my marriage is or how its ‘couple goals’. While I appreciate the sentiment, it’s not actual life. No relationship is perfect, despite what social media may display. We may not fight but trust me we do get on each other’s nerves on occasion. He leaves lights on in EVERY SINGLE ROOM, I like to put my cold hands on him to warm them up. You know, typical stuff.

My point is, stop comparing your life or your relationships to people you view on social media, in magazines or on television. You do realize they are all only showing you the parts they want you to see right? Well except the people with the vague comments and posts that they hope their significant other sees that lets everyone else but them know there is a problem. But I digress. There are people who waste time comparing themselves to others they don’t even know instead of enjoying what they have right in front of them!

Since we are on the subject, let’s talk about the single people as well. A lot of single people watch couples on social media and let it make them feel less than. Why? Just because someone has a significant other does not mean they are happy with that person or their lives. So many of us wasted so much time wishing and searching for a man that we missed out on a lot of life.

How many times have you passed on an invitation to go somewhere or try something new just because you didn’t have a date? Forget that! You are missing out on so many experiences and memories to be made.

I personally recall avoiding several events back in the day because I didn’t want to feel out of place attending alone. You know what ends up happening? People finally stop inviting you or you look back and realize all the things you missed out on experiencing. Life is not meant to be put on hold until you are part of a couple. The more life you live as a single person, the more well rounded you will be when

Independent Women Too Intimidating?

Independent women are too intimidating, they will never find a man. Who started this anyway? A man who was too afraid to deal with a strong, independent woman probably. We have been hearing this nonsense for ages. Yet strong, driven women continue to date, get engaged and marry men who deal with them just fine.

We must stop letting this nonsense make us try to make ourselves smaller, make us try to dull our shine. We were meant to stand out and make amazing impact on this world – any man that tries to make us feel otherwise is not the man we should be with anyway.

The right man will see your brilliance and do everything possible to support and encourage your continued elevation. Find that man and ignore the rest. A man that makes you feel you should be ashamed of wanting to constantly evolve would not survive the trip anyway!

Young Beautiful Lady Run On Sea Or Ocean Beach In Water Splash.

YoungBoy

Ok I admit, I didn’t even know who YoungBoy was prior to all the shenanigans when the story broke about his girlfriend. If you have been missing out on your social media updates, the feeds were full of updates regarding him allegedly forcing his girlfriend to sleep in a hotel lobby while he entertained other women in his hotel room. Of course, someone took pictures of her and posted them online, but she further fueled the fire by making videos trying to say everyone was blowing it out of proportion. Later more photos surfaced of him taking her shopping to make it up to her.

Everyone is in a tizzy about this, but lets look at it realistically.

• First, she is only 17 so perhaps she just does not have the maturity yet to fully know her worth. Let’s be honest, there are grown women who have accepted some of the same treatment if not more for years.

• We are not in their relationship, perhaps they had a clear understanding from the very beginning that there would be some type of open door policy.

• In her mind, this may be all she thinks she deserves. Or worse, she may see it as a sign of someone who really loves her.

Now on some grown woman ish, lets be brutally honest. How many of us know grown women who accept being disrespected on the regular?? This is not some weird thing that only happens when a man is a celebrity. We have all been there – perhaps not to this degree – but we were probably fortunate enough to have friends, family or dang strangers ready to shake some sense into us.

In that light, perhaps instead of bashing her, we should pray for her. Hopefully someone close to her can be there for her when she really concludes she deserves better. But as women, we have got to stop bashing and start supporting and guiding the younger generation into the type of women they truly have the capability to be.