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Not Everyone Will Support Your Next Level!

You are finally making all the changes you have talked about forever. Instead of just talking the talk, you are walking the walk. The weird thing is, not everyone seems to be happy for you. Sometimes you would be surprised who supports you evolving and who may try to ambush your forward motion. If you are feeling the backlash of your attempts to move to the next level, here are a few steps to help you out.

• Know when it’s time to let go. For some people, change is quite simply overrated. They are much more content staying in the same place with as little change to life as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes that person also feels threatened by your need to change. If you have already tried talking to someone to explain what your changes mean to you and requested their support to no avail, it may simply be time to accept they will never be there in the capacity you hoped for and let go.

• Negative Energy is just a waste of time and energy. You know the people I mean, they never seem to be happy about anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever. If you know someone is always super negative, you may want to try to limit some of your interactions with them to shorter time spans whenever possible. Sometimes there are people you simply can’t eliminate entirely because you work with them or perhaps they are family. But you can certainly try to keep your interactions to a minimum whenever possible. All that negative energy takes a toll and limits your energy which in turn impacts your progress in the things you are trying to do.

• Love from a distance. Some people mean well, they really do. But they don’t always understand that putting down your efforts to change or constantly trying to question why is not supportive. In their minds they may really think holding you back is in your best interest. While you may love your Aunt Jane, her constant attempts to convince you that women belong at home in the kitchen can become annoying. Loving someone does not mean you need to do so up close and personal on a regular basis. If you need to pull back for your own sanity, do so.

• Seasons change. We have all heard the sayings about people being in our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. As much as it may hurt, sometimes we just must accept that someone’s season is over. Let me give you an example, one friend I met a long time ago during a very dark period in my life seemed great, until I started to move on and make changes to get out of that darkness. Finally, I had to accept that she preferred me down or depressed because that’s how she always was. My changes were like a threat to the friendship, as they say negativity breeds negativity.

How do you typically handle people who don’t support your attempts to improve or get better? Have you ever let it make you give up entirely?

Take a Rest Recreation Carefree Concept

The Royal Wedding

LOS ANGELES - JAN 19:  Meghan Markle at the NBC TCA Winter 2014

As the Royal Wedding draws near, there is a lot of media frenzy around the bride’s estranged family. Although it has been noted in several venues that Meghan has not spoken to several of the relatives on her fathers side in several years, much less spent any time with them, they keep speaking out. Of course, all the interviews and social media outreach they have done has been negative and disparaging against Meghan.

Now the question is, what could they possibly have to say, what insight could they possibly really give about someone that they have not spoken to or seen in years?? Of course, in this instance it really could just be people trying very hard to get their 15 minutes of fame. Or perhaps there is simply some jealousy there, because why should she have all this attention and fame? How dare she? What makes her so special?

Perhaps what they really need to realize and accept is Meghan put in the work to take her career exactly where she wanted to go prior to any relationship. There is no reason her extended family could not buckle down and pursue their own goals if they wanted to reach accomplishments in their field. As far as her relationship, she met someone and fell in love. Should she feel guilty because of his status or because of who he is? Should she not marry him and forgo happiness just to make them feel better about themselves? Of course not.

At the same time, they are trying really hard to make her look like a villain for not inviting them to her wedding. But let’s get real. Why on earth would you want people at your wedding that you have not spoken to in years, have no real relationship with and who drags your name through the mud at the first chance they get??

While most of us are not celebrities having weddings of this stature, the same principle applies to us. Your wedding is meant to be a special day for you and your significant other to celebrate your love and commitment with the people closest to you in life. You should not have to feel obligated to invite people simply to avoid them saying negative things about you or to appease what people think. What experience have you had with your wedding or those of others that included negative antics from family? How was it handled? Do you have any advice for Meghan as she launches into the next phase of her life as a new bride?

Fixing Her Crown

We have all heard the saying that real queens fix each other’s crowns. Yep, it’s a great hashtag – makes a pretty good meme as well. But how many of us can really say that’s what we do day in and day out? While I would like to believe we all start out with the best intentions, we fall short, myself included. But let’s think about it, if we all looked in the mirror and truly chose to try to support, encourage and love on other women every day what an impact that could really make? Let’s just look at a few ways we can fix another woman’s crown starting now:

• Stop Sipping Tea – In other words, don’t gossip about another woman behind her back, even if all you do is listen and laugh you are still complicit. If you are in the company of others putting someone down, first try to change the subject, if that does not work perhaps you should remove yourself. Just as you would not like finding out a so-called friend was bad mouthing you behind your back, they would be just as bothered by that behavior from you.

• Set the Foundation – Make sure that another woman knows who you are and that she can count on you, I mean really count on you. If you say you will do something, you do it. If you say you will be somewhere, you will be there with bells on. Real friends are quite often the one person you have that you can talk to about everything: the guy that just dumped you, the promotion you didn’t get, the financial problems you are experiencing. When times are hard a woman wants someone she can count on, not someone who is only there when it suits them.

• Honor Code – Tell them the truth, do not lie to them and set them up to get really hurt in the long run! If she is falling for a guy and telling you all the warning signs she see’s do not lie to her and try to convince her those signs aren’t real! It’s better to be there for her and tell her the truth now than watch her get cheated on, abused or taken advantage of in the long run. The same goes for when she is wrong about something. You know how it is, they are telling us their side of an argument and instead of telling her she needs to go back and apologize we encourage her to stay on the wrong track!

• Encourage, Love & Support – There is enough room for all of us to succeed: at life, love, careers whatever it is we want to do. Don’t ever let jealousy or envy fester in your heart. Yeah, we all may feel it a time or two, but acknowledge it and let go of it. Your time will come. Encourage another woman to go after everything she deserves, support her when she stumbles and love her through it all. If she is a good friend, she will do the same for you as you try to reach your goals in life. Yes, we all like to say we don’t need anyone, we can do it on our own. But think about how much joy there is in doing it together, cheering each other in the process!

What other ways can you help fix another woman’s crown? I would love to hear your thoughts!

pretty brunette woman wearing crown

Stop with the Negativity!

 

Some conversations drain you. Let’s just be honest, some people drain you. The negative, angry with the world thing can be too much and zap all your energy out. Recently after looking forward to an event, I lost all excitement in less than an hour, I kid you not. It was a barrage of one person after another complaining about everything. Like aren’t you happy about anything in your life?? Anything?

 

The thing some of us try to avoid is simply cutting people or situations out of our lives. But sometimes, it’s just what is best for us and our wellbeing. Now obviously there are some people and situations you must deal with, but you can definitely try to limit the time required to a minimum.

 

Now be really honest with yourself, are you the negative one in your group? The person who is never happy about anything? You may be and not even realize it. Think about your recent interactions with other people and the things you contributed to the conversation. Was any of it positive and upbeat? Or looking back did it just seem like frustration and complaints about everything?

 

Even if you are the culprit, you can change that. Starting now. Start looking at the things in your life that you have gratitude about. I don’t care how small it may seem. Feeling frustrated about someone giving you attitude at work? Remember you have a job while others are trying hard to find one. Annoyed your husband left the bathroom in disarray yet again? There are widows and divorcees wishing for those moments again. You get the idea. For every negative thought, try to find a positive – even if its just the cup of coffee you are going to go have while you reset your thoughts!

 

What steps can you do today to make sure you are not the person others dread interacting with?

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Women Doing it for Themselves (Part 3)

It’s the end of the year, that time when so many of us start to reevaluate our goals for the new year. Instead of waiting, why not start right now?! Tomorrow is not promised.

As promised, this is the final chapter in my series on women who have already jumped in the fire with both feet in an effort to achieve their dreams. Meet Rachelle Jean-Batiste, owner and operator of ‘For Goodness Cake’.

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As successful as she is now, Rachelle never really considered going into business for herself with baked goods. She was quite content selling for a national make-up company when a friend asked her to attend a cake decorating class with her at a craft store. Unbeknownst to that friend the only thing Rachelle really heard was ‘eat & shop’ 🙂

Later she posted a photo of a cake she had done only to be surprised when someone inquired about ordering one. A freind suggested going into business together and the vision was born. However that freind kept procrastinating and taking so long that Rachelle finally decided to make a go on her own. She prayed about a name and the dream began.

That initial class really only taught her the basics so she had to learn the rest on her own. Between YouTube and Internet research she taught herself everything she needed to know.

During all of this her strongest supporter has been her husband. Rachelle credits him as being the one to motivate her at every turn. As she states, he could be flat on the ground and he would still use his last breath to encourage her!

The one word she would say describes her: Confident.

Rachelle’s Empowerment Song is ‘I’m Blessed’ by Charlie Wilson. That song is especially encouraging when she hits obstacles. Her biggest obstacle to date is that she is her own worse critic! Luckily her husband is always there to reassure her!

Rachelle’s advice to other women considering making that leap is simple:

  • Don’t give up!
  • Don’t let other people talk you out of things.
  • Failure is an option. Take that failure and learn from it!
  • Always avoid negativity.

As of now Rachelle is gearing up for the holidays, you can view her work here: https://www.facebook.com/ForGoodnessCake.yummm/ and view her holiday specials on the flyer below.

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Women Doing it for Themselves! (Part 2)

It is imperative that women support and encourage other women in this thing we call life. In that realm, nothing motivates us better than watching another sister take that leap and make it! As promised, this is part two of the three part series on women leaping with both feet to go after their dreams.

This is Ty’Rasha Johnson an Amazing Stylist and Co-owner of EnviedHair LLC specializing in Luxury Hair Extensions.

Tyrasha

 

At the start of her career Ty’Rasha worked for a well known salon as she entered into the world of beauty. While that company offered amazing educational opportunities she found her creativity stifled by the restrictions and limitations of the company.

Ready to step outside of that box she decided to venture out on her own and be her own boss. That decision not only catapulted her career as a stylist but it also forged a bond with the woman that would ultimately become her partner in the launch of EnviedHair LLC.

Looking back, Ty’Rasha considers her friends and family as her strongest support team in both ventures. In addition to being one of her strongest supporters, her boyfriend also serves as her sounding board, encouraging her to bounce ideas off him for honest feedback. He balances her out and helps her maintain tunnel vision.

Education is imperative to launch a career as a stylist. Starting a company as a supplier of quality hair extensions is another ball game entirely. There was no one to hold her hand and guide her. It was simply lots of trial and error. Research, buying and testing products before she would ever dream of offering it to her clients.

When asked what one word she would say described her, Ty’Rasha knew the answer Immediately: Unique! It’s the same word she has used since she was little. Never one to fit just one mold she can mesh with all settings.

Ty’Rasha’s Empowerment Quote? ‘God will not put more on me than I can bear’

That quote provided the necessary strength when obstacles started to make her question her ability to succeed. In addition, she is a strong believer in starting each day off with worship music. It’s a consistent reminder to stay focused and motivated.

Ty’Rasha’s advice to women afraid to take the leap to go after their dreams is very clear:

  • Stop shortchanging yourself!
  • It is a breath of fresh air watching your vision manifest.
  • Live the life you should be living by walking in your truth!

Stay connected with Ty’Rasha and catch the latest deals the company has to offer at the links below:

http://instagram.com/tyrasha

http://instagram.com/enviedhairllc

See Also: Women Doing it for Themselves! (Part 1)

Women Doing it for Themselves! (Part 1)

Sometimes as women I don’t think we really know just how strong and amazing we really are. So in that realm of thinking I am launching a new series to take a look at a few women who are each amazing in their own individual and unique way, women who have taken a leap and stepped out of the box society sometimes traps us in. Each of these women have trusted in their dream enough to stop dreaming and start doing!

Meet Robyn Richardson of Richardson & Ross Beauty which specializes in makeup applications for weddings, proms and special events.

Robyn

 

Robyn recalls an interest in the world of makeup and the magic it entails as far back as her childhood after watching her mother seem to transform herself with each application.

As her interest grew she taught herself more and more through practice and online videos. That attention to detail would soon start a word of mouth awareness among her college peers contacting her for her talents. That alone gave her the inspiration to launch out into business for herself.

Robyn considers her parents as the first tier of her support team back then. As she notes they would ‘gas her up’ to believe she could achieve anything right from the beginning and even more so once they really saw her work. Now she also has her husband who not only believes in her vision but invests in the dream as needed.

After 11 years in the business she joined forces with her partner to form Richardson and Ross Beauty a year ago. As a team the company is gaining recognition for the quality of their work and customer satisfaction.

When asked what one word she would say described her, Robyn’s answer was simple: Dynamic! I couldn’t agree more.

Robyn’s advice to other women ready to pursue their dreams is pretty straight forward:

  • Stay focused on your goal.
  • Keep personal feelings out of business.
  • Sick to your beliefs.
  • Avoid negativity.

Robyn’s Empowerment Song? ‘Happy Feelings’ by Frankie Beverly and Maze

Currently the company is gearing up for holiday and prom business. Later they do plan to add training classes for skincare to their customer base. Contact them or check their services here:

http://Facebook.com/RichRossBeauty

 

See Also: Women Doing it for Themselves! (Part 2)