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Fly!

It’s been one of those days. First, I did a thing. Then I started to let doubt and fear convince me it was a mistake and not the best idea. Not to mention all the hurdles and roadblocks along the way. I guess I’m rambling, so let’s back up a bit, shall we?

For some time now I have been overthinking the idea of starting a podcast. Some days the idea is strong and exciting, others I’m standing at the ledge without a parachute. Finally, I decide it’s now or nothing, there is too much that can happen if we keep putting off the things we want to do waiting for the perfect timing, perfect setup or just another perfect excuse to wait.

I researched all the things I would need for setup, picked a host, designed my graphics and made a trailer. Then the hard part, pushing the button. Of course, just as predicted that is when the roadblocks really came in. First, I had to try to figure out what I wanted to talk about for the first one and how I wanted it to flow. Then I sat down with the microphone and headphones and could not hear myself for anything. Tried test after test and my voice was just not coming through. I then tried logging into all the extremely complicated instruments my husband has in the home office. (He will swear its not complicated at all. Whatever!) Now I can’t figure out how to make it record in that system. Turns out I didn’t even have that mic turned on properly. Like I said complicated!

In the end, I ended up sitting in my bedroom closet with my phone and matching headphones. That’s right, my first ever podcast was recorded in the dang closet. But it was that or nothing. After going back and forth with the other systems the doubt was back. Who did I think I was to try to this? What authority, recognition or influence did I really have? Who is even going to listen? Since quitting was not an option, the closet it was.

Of course, once I was really done, I wanted feedback. You know how we ask for something we don’t really want?? Besides, those nerves were setting in again. My husband has decades of experience in radio so who better? He gave me the feedback that I asked for and I was ready to scrap the whole thing. Do it again. Start over. Try it on a different day maybe. But after thinking about it, I decided to push forward. It was my first time, its not going to be perfect. And honestly, I didn’t want to give myself yet another excuse to wait until tomorrow, next week or maybe never. As time goes on, I will get better and better, but my first time out of the gate I’m not going to sound like a master.

How often do we do this to ourselves and why? We start convincing ourselves that what we have to say wont matter. The sad truth is, it wont matter. Not if we don’t push ourselves out of those cocoons of self-doubt and do the things, all the things! Yep we might fail. We might fail massively. Or we might just spread our wings and fly.

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Dance Like No One Is Watching

You know those concerts you have in the car when no one is around to hear you belt out off key lyrics? Or what about the dance parties, in your empty home, when everyone is out? Why do we feel so much better about doing things when no one is around? What happened to that old time saying; dance like no one is watching?

Well, I for one can’t dance to save my life. I have no rhythm, not even a little bit. And my singing is even less awe inspiring. Due to that fact, I frequently find myself freezing in the middle of a little hip sashay to make sure no one can see me or mouthing the lyrics to my favorite songs when anyone else is in the house or car to ensure no one can hear me.

Tonight, as I was cooking dinner, I decided to throw on some music. Of course, when a few of my favorites came on I started moving and singing in the kitchen. The funny thing is everyone was home. But this time, I decided I just didn’t care. Why should I? Life is entirely too short to limit yourself of the things that bring you joy. Now does that mean I’m writing a whole blog about singing or dancing? Nope, that would be silly wouldn’t it?

But I am making a point. How many times do we let what others may think or say about us hinder us from doing things? True, my example above was as simple as dancing or singing. But what about everything else? You want to make changes in your life, maybe in your friendships, jobs, health or whatever and you hold back out of fear of other people’s opinions. Why do we do this? I know as kids we were taught to be nice to everyone and try to make friends. Is that where our drive to make sure everyone likes us comes from? As grown adults its time to just jump into things feet first. People are going to talk and have opinions regardless. Basically, we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. So, we just as well enjoy the journey and leave this life with no regrets.

Young Beautiful Lady Run On Sea Or Ocean Beach In Water Splash.

Comparison is a Waste of Time

Upset woman ignoring affectionate couple in pub

You would be surprised how many times a month someone makes a comment about how great my marriage is or how its ‘couple goals’. While I appreciate the sentiment, it’s not actual life. No relationship is perfect, despite what social media may display. We may not fight but trust me we do get on each other’s nerves on occasion. He leaves lights on in EVERY SINGLE ROOM, I like to put my cold hands on him to warm them up. You know, typical stuff.

My point is, stop comparing your life or your relationships to people you view on social media, in magazines or on television. You do realize they are all only showing you the parts they want you to see right? Well except the people with the vague comments and posts that they hope their significant other sees that lets everyone else but them know there is a problem. But I digress. There are people who waste time comparing themselves to others they don’t even know instead of enjoying what they have right in front of them!

Since we are on the subject, let’s talk about the single people as well. A lot of single people watch couples on social media and let it make them feel less than. Why? Just because someone has a significant other does not mean they are happy with that person or their lives. So many of us wasted so much time wishing and searching for a man that we missed out on a lot of life.

How many times have you passed on an invitation to go somewhere or try something new just because you didn’t have a date? Forget that! You are missing out on so many experiences and memories to be made.

I personally recall avoiding several events back in the day because I didn’t want to feel out of place attending alone. You know what ends up happening? People finally stop inviting you or you look back and realize all the things you missed out on experiencing. Life is not meant to be put on hold until you are part of a couple. The more life you live as a single person, the more well rounded you will be when

Independent Women Too Intimidating?

Independent women are too intimidating, they will never find a man. Who started this anyway? A man who was too afraid to deal with a strong, independent woman probably. We have been hearing this nonsense for ages. Yet strong, driven women continue to date, get engaged and marry men who deal with them just fine.

We must stop letting this nonsense make us try to make ourselves smaller, make us try to dull our shine. We were meant to stand out and make amazing impact on this world – any man that tries to make us feel otherwise is not the man we should be with anyway.

The right man will see your brilliance and do everything possible to support and encourage your continued elevation. Find that man and ignore the rest. A man that makes you feel you should be ashamed of wanting to constantly evolve would not survive the trip anyway!

Young Beautiful Lady Run On Sea Or Ocean Beach In Water Splash.

Why You? Why Not You?

Blogging

Lately I have found myself spending a lot of time explaining the blogging process to others and one thing just keeps coming up, a lack of confidence. There are so many people afraid to do something based on their own fears of inadequacy. Why would anyone read my work? Who am I to try to tell anyone how to do anything? Why me? Well, Why Not You??

See, here’s the thing – If you don’t believe in yourself; of course, it is hard to imagine anyone else doing it! But I can’t say this enough. Everyone has a story to tell. You may not be an expert in your field, but you are an expert in being you! Stop focusing so much time on what other people will think of you giving advice on anything and just do it. The more you write, the more your knowledge increases and eventually your experience as an expert of your own written thought process.

Think of it this way, what are you an expert at? You are a single mom? Of course, you are not the only single mom in the world, but you are the only single mom of your children. Based on that information you will have unique stories, challenges and triumphs that apply specifically to you and the children you are raising. Believe it or not, there are brand new single moms out there who could use that information and insight as they try to put aside their own fears of being a bad parent. Your stories can assure them they are doing their best or help them through the mistakes we have all made at some point!

So again, why you? Because you are uniquely made and the only person to give insight into your personal experiences! So, what are you waiting for??

Not Everyone Will Support Your Next Level!

You are finally making all the changes you have talked about forever. Instead of just talking the talk, you are walking the walk. The weird thing is, not everyone seems to be happy for you. Sometimes you would be surprised who supports you evolving and who may try to ambush your forward motion. If you are feeling the backlash of your attempts to move to the next level, here are a few steps to help you out.

• Know when it’s time to let go. For some people, change is quite simply overrated. They are much more content staying in the same place with as little change to life as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes that person also feels threatened by your need to change. If you have already tried talking to someone to explain what your changes mean to you and requested their support to no avail, it may simply be time to accept they will never be there in the capacity you hoped for and let go.

• Negative Energy is just a waste of time and energy. You know the people I mean, they never seem to be happy about anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever. If you know someone is always super negative, you may want to try to limit some of your interactions with them to shorter time spans whenever possible. Sometimes there are people you simply can’t eliminate entirely because you work with them or perhaps they are family. But you can certainly try to keep your interactions to a minimum whenever possible. All that negative energy takes a toll and limits your energy which in turn impacts your progress in the things you are trying to do.

• Love from a distance. Some people mean well, they really do. But they don’t always understand that putting down your efforts to change or constantly trying to question why is not supportive. In their minds they may really think holding you back is in your best interest. While you may love your Aunt Jane, her constant attempts to convince you that women belong at home in the kitchen can become annoying. Loving someone does not mean you need to do so up close and personal on a regular basis. If you need to pull back for your own sanity, do so.

• Seasons change. We have all heard the sayings about people being in our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. As much as it may hurt, sometimes we just must accept that someone’s season is over. Let me give you an example, one friend I met a long time ago during a very dark period in my life seemed great, until I started to move on and make changes to get out of that darkness. Finally, I had to accept that she preferred me down or depressed because that’s how she always was. My changes were like a threat to the friendship, as they say negativity breeds negativity.

How do you typically handle people who don’t support your attempts to improve or get better? Have you ever let it make you give up entirely?

Take a Rest Recreation Carefree Concept

The Royal Wedding

LOS ANGELES - JAN 19:  Meghan Markle at the NBC TCA Winter 2014

As the Royal Wedding draws near, there is a lot of media frenzy around the bride’s estranged family. Although it has been noted in several venues that Meghan has not spoken to several of the relatives on her fathers side in several years, much less spent any time with them, they keep speaking out. Of course, all the interviews and social media outreach they have done has been negative and disparaging against Meghan.

Now the question is, what could they possibly have to say, what insight could they possibly really give about someone that they have not spoken to or seen in years?? Of course, in this instance it really could just be people trying very hard to get their 15 minutes of fame. Or perhaps there is simply some jealousy there, because why should she have all this attention and fame? How dare she? What makes her so special?

Perhaps what they really need to realize and accept is Meghan put in the work to take her career exactly where she wanted to go prior to any relationship. There is no reason her extended family could not buckle down and pursue their own goals if they wanted to reach accomplishments in their field. As far as her relationship, she met someone and fell in love. Should she feel guilty because of his status or because of who he is? Should she not marry him and forgo happiness just to make them feel better about themselves? Of course not.

At the same time, they are trying really hard to make her look like a villain for not inviting them to her wedding. But let’s get real. Why on earth would you want people at your wedding that you have not spoken to in years, have no real relationship with and who drags your name through the mud at the first chance they get??

While most of us are not celebrities having weddings of this stature, the same principle applies to us. Your wedding is meant to be a special day for you and your significant other to celebrate your love and commitment with the people closest to you in life. You should not have to feel obligated to invite people simply to avoid them saying negative things about you or to appease what people think. What experience have you had with your wedding or those of others that included negative antics from family? How was it handled? Do you have any advice for Meghan as she launches into the next phase of her life as a new bride?