At some point, we get so tired of failing, that we don’t even want to keep starting. It makes sense, it really does. But what does that really achieve? So, you quit, then what? You stay in the same place day after day. Instead, you could have kept going, started again, and gotten much closer to the finish line this time.

So often, we give up just based on what others will say. If you constantly start a new venture and none of them have been successful yet, you may dread announcing something new to family or friends. Or say you have started a weight loss plan multiple times over the years only to fail before reaching your goal. Then the idea of starting yet again may have you talking yourself out of stopping before you even start.

Life is entirely too short to let the opinions of others or your own self doubt to cripple you from going after anything and everything you may desire. If not now, when? Right now, is the perfect time to start again. Get up, make a plan and surprise yourself.

Think Real Housewives combined with a twist of CSI. The entire premise revolves around a group of so called friends that all have a lot of secrets best kept hidden. Add in jealousy, betrayal and people who will do anything to get what they want, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. One of them ends up dead and its not difficult to figure out who it will be. The story is interesting enough that you do want to keep reading to figure out who did it, mostly because there are sooo many possibilities.

However, I will say the big reveal is a little farfetched. Since I don’t want to give away the ending, I will just say that type of plan will certainly go awry one day if anyone gets a guilty conscience. One thing I have noticed, is this author does seem to make investigators seem pretty incompetent in her books. Either they don’t seem smart enough to really dig deep or they just some how miss any and all evidence, beyond which is planted anyway. This is the second book of hers where they just seem to buy the so called evidence and believe it, as if the killers are always so much smarter than the cops.

All in all, it is a good way to get lost in a book and escape day to day life.

*I did receive a free advance copy of the book in return for my honest review.

Not sure what to make of this one. It starts off really, really slowly. The premise is good, there is potential for something better. After dating pretty much long distance Alice and Leo finally move in together when he buys a house in a gated community. He fails to tell her that a murder was committed in the master bedroom previously, which is why the house has been empty for so long. Presumably the husband killed his wife, then later kills himself out of remorse. But the more she learns about the prior occupants, the less she believes he would have killed his wife. Slowly she finds herself trying to investigate what she thinks may have happened, with the assistance of the private investigator that crashes a party at her home. She begins to suspect any and everyone. In the process she also realizes Leo has kept some other secrets from her as well and suddenly does not know who to trust. After such a slow build up, the ending moves really fast and admittedly some of it is really farfetched. It makes it seem the investigators that looked into the original murder were completely inept at their jobs and the entire community didn’t seem to know their friends at all.

Several of us are working to increase our individual platform presence, but I am starting to wonder if that is more detrimental than helpful overall. How many times have you been scrolling through the comments on a post, video or blog and realized there was an alarming amount of negativity spread throughout?

There are content creators I follow who deal with constant criticism via comments or direct messages, some going as far as creating entire websites to bash creators they don’t like or agree with! While the negative behavior may be in the minority, its still a lot to deal with.

It is really easy to tell people to just ignore it, but not entirely realistic. As content creators, you want to engage with your audience. Otherwise, you just feel as if you are standing on a soap box spouting your opinion instead of building a community.

I have observed creators take a break from their platforms for awhile if they feel like the negative behavior is too much for them. Others simply have an assistant or someone they trust weed through comments so that they don’t even see the negativity and give it a chance to impact them. And yes, there really are some creators who say they don’t read any of it, ever.

For some reason people seem to forget that we are all humans with actual feelings. The keyboard has given people some sort of ‘keyboard warrior’ syndrome where they think it is perfectly alright to bash people for any reason they can think of from their looks, content, beliefs or anything else for that matter.

While we cant really stop them entirely, (outside of blocking them of course 😊) we can definitely try to focus more on the positive followers than the negative. I know sometimes its hard to do, but what is that old saying? Better a bird in the hand? If we give too much attention to the naysayers, we are giving away energy our real tribe deserves. So please whatever you do, do not let them stop you, from being you. Keep showing up, in whatever way you choose, on any platform you choose. Because in the end, there is only one you and not everyone deserves to stand in your light.

As hard as it may be to believe, we only have about 4½ months left in 2021! Considering how much this year has thrown at us so far, that could be a relief to some in the overall scheme of things right?

Well as much as we may be ready to swipe the slate clean of this year, there are still some things to think about. How many of your goals have you really been working on and how many stalled in motion months ago? Things happen, I get it. But stumbling is no reason to throw in the towel. So, you may not be exactly where you wanted to be at this point in the year, the question is, what are you going to do about it? Here are a few steps to help you get back in the game:

  • Find your original goal list to reassess what you planned as well as your status on each item. There is always a chance that some of your goals have changed over the past few months.
  • Didn’t have a written plan in the first place? That’s ok, take the time to write one now. I know, I know, some people make fun of writing it down. But it works, ok? Putting it in writing helps you determine what is important to you. Changing it from a thought to a goal.
  • Now, take those goals and break them down. What small things can you do each day, week, or month to put the wheels in motion?
  • Let’s take it a step further now, put concrete dates next to each of those goals. For example, if you want to go back to school, lets be proactive here. You will research schools and make a choice by a certain date. Enroll by another date. Etc. You get the idea.
  • Find an accountability partner if needed. This can be your spouse, best friend or a relative. It doesn’t matter. But it needs to be someone you trust. Someone that will hold you to the fire when you make excuses not to meet your preset goal dates. They will also be some of the first people that you can celebrate your wins with!

This list is just a guideline to get you refocused. But let’s be honest, it really will come down to you making the decision to stop making excuses and go after the life you truly desire. What is your go to method of reaching goals? Do you have a particular goal for 2021 you still want to reach? Drop me a message, I would love to hear all about your plan of action. Let’s do this!

One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in marriage is letting all the outside influence of family impact their marriage. Quite often, that influence comes in the form of that loving mother-in-law, that’s just not so loving.

How often are we taught that once married, we are to become one with our spouse? As much as we may be used to our mother being one of our first priorities, that is supposed to change with marriage. Now the person that was given to you in front of God should come first, after God of course. Unfortunately, there are so many marriages being torn apart at the seams because of the division being caused by one spouses’ mother.

Let me give you an example. In my first marriage, my MIL was not really a fan of mine. She constantly found something wrong with everything I did. From the way I arranged my kitchen to how much I fed her son. Who by the way was a grown ass man eating just fine. Not to mention, grown men, can feed themselves you know. But I digress. At the time, I would let her complaints to my husband drive me nuts. Because of course he would repeat everything she said to me later, reconfirming for me how much she did not like me. Marriages will face a lot of outside influence with the potential to tear it apart, letting family be one of them is a mistake.

As a member of several wife groups, I have had the opportunity lately to see how many women are dealing with much worse circumstances. Mother in laws who come to their homes and take over. Constantly gripe and complain about everything or just cause general chaos and fights in the home. What’s alarming is how many men side with their mothers and expect their wives to just accept their mother’s bad behavior vs how many men actually stand up for their wives.

The question becomes this, when your wife finally leaves, who is really to blame? Home is where we should all feel our most relaxed, safe, and loved. It should not feel like a battle zone of constant strife caused by outside forces. No one says you shouldn’t love your mother, but you do need to make sure to handle situations quickly that may impact your future with your spouse. If your mother left this world today, what would be the state of your marriage that was left behind?

How many times have you been in a conversation, and someone mentioned something that you have always wanted to do? Perhaps they mentioned doing yoga, traveling more, or going back to school. The possibilities are endless. Your brain clicked and you recalled how many times you have said you would do such and such. You know, when you are married, when you make more money, when your kids are out of the house….

How do you know you even have until tomorrow to keep putting off the things you want to do? Recently I saw a meme that really gave me pause, so I looked it up to see if I could determine who said it:

‘Procrastination is the arrogant assumption that God owes you another chance to do tomorrow what He gave you the chance to do today.’ ~Bishop Rosie O’Neal

Really gives you something to think about, doesn’t it? If you knew your this was your last day on earth, how many regrets would you have? Then stop making excuses! Yes, some of your goals may seem really big, so what? Stop looking at the big overall puzzle and instead think of it as looking at one small corner. I know you put puzzles together as a child. Some you were able to do in no time, others may have taken days, weeks or even months. But you did it one piece at a time. Same principle applies here. Figure out one small piece of the puzzle that you can do this week that will help you get one of your goals started in the right direction. Do it. Now, what is the next piece you need? The possibilities are endless if you would simply get out of your own way.

This damn pandemic has caused a lot of change for everyone, especially the inability to interact with people like normal. Due to that lack of social interaction, I have been working hard to increase the way I reach out to others. Since the pandemic started well over a year ago, I have made it a point to send more cards and gifts to people because I really wanted to make sure people felt cared about and seen in such a trying time.

What has been interesting have been the responses, or lack thereof. There are a lot of people who just never even bother to acknowledge a gift received, not even just simply to confirm they got it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean children. Children get a free pass, because well, they are children. But grown ass adults are another thing altogether.

While venting about this recently to my husband, he tried to get me to see it differently by reminding me I give without expecting anything in return. That part is true, I have always liked getting people gifts and I do not ever feel that requires getting a gift back. HOWEVER. I do expect acknowledgement of my effort. Even if you don’t like the gift you can say, hey thanks for thinking of me.

The more time I have spent thinking about this lately, my mind has changed a lot. I felt like I was doing this to make others feel less alone, but I realize I was also doing it so that I felt less alone as well.

The petty side of me says if someone is not appreciative, do not ever send them anything else, stop wasting time on people who don’t care about your feelings. The nurturing side keeps arguing that point like the Angel on the other shoulder. Stopping only means changing who I am, and you really do not want to let a few people change your inner light. Be who you are, even if you must find the right people who will appreciate that person.

Allie moves to a brand-new town with her husband and son. She is looking forward to making new friends and having a nice fresh start in new surroundings. One of the neighborhood parties brings about interesting developments when a local man starts hitting on her in a manner that suggests he knows her. The next day he is found dead.

Suddenly she is being accused of having an affair with this man she swears she never met prior to that night. Text messages and a Tinder profile seem to prove otherwise.

The book has that classic mystery draw, holding your attention in the effort to figure out who did what. Just when you think you know, you realize you don’t know anything. There are some aspects when she should have just come clean about things from her past that just seemed common sense. What’s the point in being married if you don’t feel you can trust your spouse to hear you out?

It does make you a lot more conscious of just how easy it is to have your entire life manipulated thanks to social media and the internet. Almost makes you want to get offline completely. Almost.

#IDontForgiveYou 

For the love of everything holy, please stop comparing your relationship to the version of someone else’s you see on the internet! You do realize that most people only show you the good times, right? And let’s not even talk about the fact that quite often, a lot of what you see is not even the good times, it’s just the version of reality they want to put out there.

As of late, several high-profile couples have called it quits to the astonishment of their fans. They were such a perfect couple; they just can’t believe this could happen. Reality is, most of the time, we have absolutely no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Those so-called perfect couples may be going through a lot. Disrespect, infidelity, abuse or more.

High profile or not, as soon as a couple makes it clear they have parted ways, everyone has something to say. People jump on the comment section or in their DM’s trying to convince them to forgive the person and just make it work because they just looked so good together. Key word, looked. They may have looked good together, but obviously something needed to be addressed if they have called it quits. Unless you are simply praying for their wellbeing, what is the point of putting all that pressure on people? Don’t you think they are going through enough without having to deal with every random person’s opinions?

The next time you compare your relationship to someone else’s, keep that old saying in mind. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Water your lawn and stop wishing for something that may just be much worse than your current reality.