We all know at least one. Maybe we dated them. Or perhaps they just happen to be family or friends. Either way, its sometimes hard to walk away at the first red flags. And there are a lot of them. Let’s look at a few shall we?

  1. He is a Liar. And I do not just mean the occasional lie. He lies a lot, about everything. Big things, little things, stupid things. It is almost like he has no idea how to do anything but lie! I distinctly recall dating a guy who I had dead to rights on a simple question I asked him about something I found at his place. He lied through his teeth while looking me directly in the eye and gave me BS details to elaborate his story. How did I know he was lying? I found the receipt as well but didn’t bother to tell him that part before asking the question. Never even saw the point in telling him that I knew he was lying either. What would be the point? To hear more lies?
  2. He Loves Himself. Now don’t get me wrong, self-love is important. But a narcissist loves himself more than he could ever love you. He may tell you he loves you, but his actions do not reflect what his mouth is saying. Saying it and showing it are two vastly different things.
  3. Controlling. The narcissist needs to feel in control of everything about you; from the way you look to the way you speak. He needs to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. When the man you are with starts wanting to change everything about you, be concerned. Several years ago, I was with someone that liked to tell me how long my dresses needed to be, how my hair should be styled and didn’t like me wearing makeup. So, I changed all those things. Once I was out of that situation, my family was ecstatic to see the real me come back out of the shell I had retreated to.
  4. Table Turner. You know the type. They can do something to hurt you, yet when you confront them, they completely turn it back around on you. Let me give you an example, let’s say you find clear evidence he is cheating on you. Instead of apologizing or admitting any wrongdoing, he starts to get upset with you for some insecurities on your part or accuses you of snooping to find this out in the first place. Really? That’s what we are going to focus on?
  5. What he wants is always more important. For the narcissist, what he wants always takes precedence in any situation. And I don’t just mean in little things like where you should go for dinner. I’m talking about the big things as well. Let’s say you live in a state you love, but he decides its time to move somewhere else. With no discussion as a team, he just makes a decision. When he presents it to you, its more of a take it or leave it option. Either way, he is moving. Take a moment to evaluate, is everything always about what he wants or needs? That should concern you. Relationships are give and take. Not take and take.

Sometimes even the strongest women need someone else to be strong for them. The woman that always seems to be able to handle everything, is not handling as much as you think. When you envy the woman that seems to achieve so much more than you do, take a moment to see past the veil.

Some of us are simply better at appearing to have it all together than others. You have no idea how many emotional breakdowns she has behind closed doors. How often she may feel completely overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and deadlines on her plate.

You may be looking up to her while she is secretly putting herself down and fighting her own insecurities and doubts. What you see as great or amazing, she may see as her failure that day, week or month. You know her. She is the strong friend, the one that is always there for everyone. But rarely asks anyone else for help or just a shoulder to cry on.

We spend so much time as women competing instead of supporting one another. Do your girlfriends know what they mean to you? Do they know that you would be there for them if they ever need someone to talk to?

When people are gone, we cover their social media sites with all the love and adoration we have for them. Let them know how you feel now. What is that old saying? Give them their flowers while they can still smell them. Stop taking each day for granted and let the people close to you, know what they mean to you.