We all know the ones, the guys who seem to have it all together: good communicators, romantic, great careers, set life goals, financial responsibility etc. They indicate they are ready for a relationship, the only thing they need to make everything complete. He is ready for a wife, or so he says. As women we have a tendency to jump in with both feet, after all he meets several of the bullet points on some imaginary list in our heads of what we want in a man.In no time we are planning a future right down to the color of the bridesmaid dresses. So what’s the problem? When you start talking about commitment he is tripping over himself trying to avoid actually committing to you and only you. Wait, monogamy? That’s a foreign word to some men.
Suddenly you are questioning yourself, trying to figure out what is wrong with you. Trying to determine why this keeps happening. Have you ever considered that there is nothing wrong with you? While there are several men out here who are legitimately looking for it all. Men who want a woman to form a loving partnership, there are of course men who make us suspicious of the good guys.
Just because a man indicates he wants a commitment or a family does not mean he wants that with you. As a male friend of mine likes to say, some men simply know the game. They know what we want to hear. As he calls it, they play ‘Tea Party’ with us. Simply meaning they feel us out and figure out what it is we are looking for, then they tell us everything we want to hear to accomplish their goal.
Now this is not to say all guys have some secret agenda, which could not be further from the truth. But just like there are some women that can mistreat a man and make him suspicious of everyone after her, there are men who fit that bill as well.
The bottom line is simply to take your time and really get to know someone new. Ask the questions. Let him show you that he is sincere. If he really wants you, if he really wants a commitment he is going to show you. Not through his words but through his actions. As the old folks used to say, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.