Love is not Violent

Being in love can be a rollercoaster of emotions: passionate, romantic and pure bliss. Unfortunately it can also be difficult and draining; because let’s face it, every relationship is not going to be peaches and cream at all times.

What love should never be is violent. A conversation last night led me to be more open and transparent than I normally am. Trying to explain having once been in an abusive partnership can be scary. One has to wonder what impact that revelation will have. Will it change someone’s perception of me? Will they judge me unjustly? If you are opening up to someone who truly cares about you, they will not judge you on your past. Instead they will embrace the lessons it taught you and the woman you have become.

As women, we sometimes have a habit of making excuses for certain behavior. For a very long time, I made those excuses. Since the violence in my case normally involved pushing, shoving or being held down along with a lot of emotional abuse I made excuses. Constantly being in denial that it’s not abuse if they don’t hit you is just that, denial. At some point we have to take a good hard look at the situation and decide once and for all that someone who truly cares about you would never hurt you. They would never break doors because you didn’t want to argue, or punch holes in walls when you are crying.

We were created by Good as divine creatures meant to be loved, cherished and cared for. Nothing less should ever be accepted. I have come a long way from that woman. I’m ready to walk in my truth, are you?

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