Archive | August 2015

Needy and Clingy Women, so not Attractive!

Needy, clingy women are a major turnoff to a powerful man with drive. Why? Simply put, focused men trying to achieve certain goals in life do not have time to reassure you every minute of every day that you are in their thoughts.

What is your purpose? What are your goals, dreams and aspirations? If you are an independent woman with a mind of your own, one who is driven to pursue your own goals, you simply won’t have time to focus on what he is doing hour after hour throughout the day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way saying a man should not make you a priority in his life. However, he should not have to stress about the attitude you will have if he is not checking in with you every moment. The last thing a man needs at the end of a long stressful day is his woman giving him even more grief and stress. Your goal should always be one that empowers him, uplifts him and makes him feel safe from the struggles of the world. In other words, you are the one person that he knows will always have his back. The person he can talk to about anything without fear of judgment.

Think of it this way. When was the last time you were doing something that kept you extremely focused or busy? Perhaps it was a major deadline at work or a party you were in the middle of planning. Maybe you spent the day with a good friend you had not seen in awhile. During those times, it’s quite easy to lose track of time. When that happens you may only talk to the man in your life once or twice all day. But you don’t freak out about it because you know the reason. You were busy, he was busy. How would you feel if he automatically accused you of doing something wrong when you were missing in action? Or tried to insinuate that he simply was not important to you? Well just like you would not appreciate that, neither does he.

As a woman pursuing her goals you will attract men with like minded ambitions. Part of that reason is that he knows that combined drive will ultimately make you both a force to be reckoned with as a strong, powerful couple on the rise. It also lets him know that he does not have to stress about checking in every five seconds to reassure you because just like he is focused, so are you.

If you know you have a tendency to be that needy clingy woman, try something different. When you start to feel that need arising in you to check in with him for the millionth time in an hour, focus on something else. Preferably something that balances and evolves you as a woman. Take out your goal list, update some things. Focus on some of the short term steps to achieving those long term items. Not only does it give him time to do the things he has to do, it gives you time to focus on you. When you stay busy on individual goals, friendships and interests you spend less time nagging and more time blooming into someone he will find even more attractive and interesting.

Dating a Betrayed Man

At some point in all your dating ventures there is a very high chance that you will one day date a man who has been cheated on. Believe it or not it happens, more than you may now. While menmay love to put on an air of strength and invincibility, they can be extremely hurt by betrayal of this nature. That type of hurt can and will impact their future relationships.

Does this mean you should avoid getting involved with a man who has been hurt in this manner? Absolutely not. Just as women have a past that men accept in order to be involved with them, women should be willing to make the same adjustments. A man has the capacity to love extremely hard, once he truly lets down any walls and lets a woman in completely. That woman becomes the one person he counts on to always have his back, the one person he can always trust, in other words the Queen to the King in him. Once a man has been betrayed by someone he has placed that much faith in, it is sometimes difficult for him to recover immediately. Difficult but not impossible.

If you want to be with this man, you will need to accept certain eccentricities in the beginning. It will take time for him to trust you completely, probably more time than you are used to in arelationship. There may be more questions or concerns about where you are, who you are with or perhaps who else you communicate with of the opposite nature. Do not intentionally do things that you know will make him question you in effort to get attention.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is a big difference between a man who is jealous and a man who has trust issues from hurt at this level. Know the difference. Try to understand the impact this type of betrayal has made on him and be willing to do what it takes to show him that you are not the same woman that hurt him. Show him that he can count on you, trust you and confide in you about any and all concerns he may have without fear of judgement. You will not regret it in the long run. As that man opens up completely to you and lets you all the way in, you will be able to see the King under all those layers. A man that will love, cherish and adore you in ways you can only imagine.