Archive | July 2015

Falling in Love Alone

As we all go through the lovely chaos of dating you will sometimes find yourselves on different wavelengths. Just like anything else one of you may develop feelings quicker than the other or at the very least a little more intense than your partner.
When that happens you may feel a paralyzing fear of inadequacy. But there is really no need. There is not a rule set in stone that says you should both feel the exact same thing at the exact same time.
Some people take longer than others to really open up and let themselves be vulnerable to giving someone else their heart. Yes in a perfect romantic situation both parties would fall in love at the same time and live happily ever after just like the fairy tales. But that’s just it, those are fairy tales.
In reality those feelings may happen instantly or they make take time. But are you really willing to risk running to avoid possible rejection when in reality it may just take time for someone to catch up to where you are? Give things time to develop, see where they go and you just might find yourself the recipient of the relationship of your dreams.

Ghosts from your Past

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It never fails, as soon as you move on and seem happy in a new relationship the ghosts from your past are sure to show up. Everything from those that just want to say hello or tell you they miss you to the ones who claim to want to congratulate you and wish you well.

There may very well be a really small percentage that truly want to wish you well. But for the most part it’s for purely selfish reasons. For some of them, it’s genuinely surprising that you would move on and find happiness with someone else, to others you suddenly appear so much more appealing now that you are with someone new. Of course there will be those who are simply trying to be nosey.

Keep all these conversations to a minimum. There is no need for long text messages, phone calls or visits for old times sake. Of course you can respond, you don’t have to be rude.

Keep it short and to the point. Don’t engage in any communication you would not appreciate your new partner doing with one of their exes. Just as you would find it disrespectful, show your new relationship the same respect.

The people in your past are in the past for a reason. Leave them there. Don’t risk your new relationship and potential happiness looking back.

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Why can’t women support each other?

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There is an old saying that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. So why is it then that we make excuse after excuse for the negative, mean spirited ways women sometimes treat each other? Instead of putting a stop to it, we let it continue, we engage in it and sometimes revel from it.

Don’t agree? Think about it. How often have you engaged in malicious gossip about someone who considered you a confidant? Even if you didn’t say anything, failing to walk away still makes you an accomplice.

Women are emotional creatures by nature, wouldn’t it be so much more empowering if we supported, encouraged and loved one another instead of just being negative, gossiping and being mean spirited?

We have all been guilty at some point, some more than others. But it’s never too late to change that behavior. Start fresh today with a new attitude and outlook on how you will interact with the women you encounter each day, you might be amazed at the changes it will bring to your life!

Why do we compare ourselves to other women?

Why are we so often our own worst enemies? As women we are quite often the hardest on ourselves. We let our insecurities get in the way of who we are and what we are capable of. Most people who know me have a perception of someone confident and self-assured. What people do not realize is that is a constant work in progress, something I struggle with daily. I’m constantly comparing myself, evaluating and trying to measure up.

Just recently I had to stop and take a long hard look at some things. Specifically I found myself comparing myself to the women before me in my current relationship. Simply because I know I’m nothing like those women. Instead of taking that at face value and moving forward, I start to compare and contrast. Why? Because I am who I am I guess. After wasting unnecessary time thinking about this, I had to face facts. I may not be like anyone else, but that’s what makes me completely unique and one of a kind. Being different from the women before me is probably a very good thing, after all they are in the past now for a reason.

I say all of this to say this, if you are letting your insecurities get in the way of any of the relationships in your life, you are not alone. But you do need to stop immediately. You are one of a kind, specially designed by God to be exactly who and what you are. Do not ever compare yourself to others, simply shine in the light of your unique self and let others enjoy the ambience of your true radiance.