Who Are You?

How often do you really take time to self-reflect and figure out who you really are and what you really want out of this life? We all do those mirror checks where we critique the outside and find all our perceived flaws, but what about the inside? Who we thought we were or what we thought we wanted changes overtime, as we age, gain experience and go through life’s ups and downs.

I am pushing 50 sooner than I would like, and my body aches remind me at every opportunity. However, so many people tell me that by the time you do get to 50 you really know yourself and the opinions of other people just do not matter as much. Hopefully, that is true. To help that along, I have taken to meditating a lot, practicing beginners’ yoga and leaning into manifestation more than ever before. My goal right now is to really listen to my inner voice more, learn what I want and stop leaning towards what everyone else wants more than my own needs. As women, we tend to do that more often than we should.

What we wanted and who we were in our young adulthood may have drastically changed over time, I know I have. The super shy, insecure girl is still there inside, but now she has so much life experience that she has evolved into several shades of her former self. Being in tune with those changes will help guide me on the right path for my future.

Today I challenge you to just take some time, despite your crazy schedule, and just look inside. Start assessing who the woman you are today is and what you want out of this crazy thing called life.

Woman Meditating, Relaxing In Yoga Pose At Sunset, Zen Meditatio

Not Everyone Is Your Friend

Friends Chilling Out Enjoying Meal In Restaurant. Group Of Happy

How many people have ended a relationship or a marriage and lost friends in the process? Trust me, you are not alone. We have all been there. Some people do not bother to hear both sides of a situation before choosing sides and that is unfortunate. I guess some people do not take into account that one person could very well be embellishing or out and out lying to make themselves look more like the victim than the villain they may have really been.

Now you have a situation where friends choose to believe and cling to one while dismissing the other. Like all the time you spent with them, the laughter, tears and support of each other through the years just went out the window. Sometimes we must acknowledge that some people were just meant for a season of our lives, not the entirety of it. And as hard as it is to hear, some people were acquaintances, not friends.

My theory is always this, if the friendship really meant a lot to you. Make an honest effort to share your feelings with that person. But I wouldn’t beg them to believe me or my side of the story.  Some friendships are worth putting in the effort, some or not. Because sometimes, instead of fighting you can just chalk it up as a lesson learned. Now you know that person is only a friend in the sunshine, but not good for the storms of your life. Straighten your crown and keep moving forward like the Queen you are.

Have you ever ghosted a friend simply based on what their ex said about them? Without even hearing their side. Perhaps now is a good time to reach out, apologize and be a real friend. Before its too late, tomorrow is not promised.

Making a List and Checking It Twice

Top View Of Female Home Office With Copy Space In Center. Clipbo

I maintain not one, but two task lists daily. Don’t judge me. One for my job, the other for my personal goals. At the end of any given day, it’s normal to find the work list completed. However, the personal list will sometimes have several things left unchecked. Inevitably, the day goes by, I decide I am tired or stressed and those things can wait. So of course, those items move from day to day before I finally get them done. That is ridiculous!

Think of it this way. The items on my work list get done, because someone will hold me accountable in the hierarchy of my company. However, there is no one making sure the personal items get done. You know why? Because of the lack of accountability.

I realized something tonight, with all my business ventures, I am the boss. Meaning, I am the person that should be holding me accountable. If I had a staff and gave them a list of things to do, I would not be too happy about the items that they just casually put off day after day. So why am I accepting that behavior of myself? The bottom line is, I must start making the completion of items on that checklist just as important. Stop making excuses and start making progress. Otherwise, the truth of the matter is I am just putting my goals further and further off track and essentially saying they just are not that important.

Are you procrastinating things that are important to your personal goals? Perhaps its time you take a good hard look at how you prioritize the things on your list as well. If you ran out of time on this thing called life, would you really feel like you put in your all for the things you really wanted to accomplish?

How Are You?

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There is too much going on right now, we all know that. First, we were all quarantined in our homes for what seemed like forever. Then we were running around wearing masks and using hand sanitizer like lotion every five seconds. Of course, we are still juggling jobs, family and friend commitments as well. During it all we were suddenly fighting a Black Lives Movement with renewed vigor.

Now do not get me wrong, most of us have always been fighting racism in some form or fashion, from the moment we were born. For some reason now, it seems like everyone else sees what we have been trying to tell them our entire lives. But I digress.

In the middle of all this, I hope you are taking time to breathe. Yes, everything is important and needs our attention. But let us be honest, things pretty much always need our attention! With so much going on it is crucial that you are taking care of you. If you need to take a step back from the cause for a moment and focus on your emotional well-being, so be it. We get so caught up in trying to be everything for everyone that we sometimes forget our needs. Burning yourself out will solve nothing. Get the rest you need. Drink your water. Make sure you are handling your stress in healthy ways. Get some type of exercise. And just take a moment, to just be.

Drop a note and let me know what you are doing to take care of yourself right now. And don’t forget to follow me so that you get updates on new content immediately!

Fly!

It’s been one of those days. First, I did a thing. Then I started to let doubt and fear convince me it was a mistake and not the best idea. Not to mention all the hurdles and roadblocks along the way. I guess I’m rambling, so let’s back up a bit, shall we?

For some time now I have been overthinking the idea of starting a podcast. Some days the idea is strong and exciting, others I’m standing at the ledge without a parachute. Finally, I decide it’s now or nothing, there is too much that can happen if we keep putting off the things we want to do waiting for the perfect timing, perfect setup or just another perfect excuse to wait.

I researched all the things I would need for setup, picked a host, designed my graphics and made a trailer. Then the hard part, pushing the button. Of course, just as predicted that is when the roadblocks really came in. First, I had to try to figure out what I wanted to talk about for the first one and how I wanted it to flow. Then I sat down with the microphone and headphones and could not hear myself for anything. Tried test after test and my voice was just not coming through. I then tried logging into all the extremely complicated instruments my husband has in the home office. (He will swear its not complicated at all. Whatever!) Now I can’t figure out how to make it record in that system. Turns out I didn’t even have that mic turned on properly. Like I said complicated!

In the end, I ended up sitting in my bedroom closet with my phone and matching headphones. That’s right, my first ever podcast was recorded in the dang closet. But it was that or nothing. After going back and forth with the other systems the doubt was back. Who did I think I was to try to this? What authority, recognition or influence did I really have? Who is even going to listen? Since quitting was not an option, the closet it was.

Of course, once I was really done, I wanted feedback. You know how we ask for something we don’t really want?? Besides, those nerves were setting in again. My husband has decades of experience in radio so who better? He gave me the feedback that I asked for and I was ready to scrap the whole thing. Do it again. Start over. Try it on a different day maybe. But after thinking about it, I decided to push forward. It was my first time, its not going to be perfect. And honestly, I didn’t want to give myself yet another excuse to wait until tomorrow, next week or maybe never. As time goes on, I will get better and better, but my first time out of the gate I’m not going to sound like a master.

How often do we do this to ourselves and why? We start convincing ourselves that what we have to say wont matter. The sad truth is, it wont matter. Not if we don’t push ourselves out of those cocoons of self-doubt and do the things, all the things! Yep we might fail. We might fail massively. Or we might just spread our wings and fly.

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Don’t Breathe A Word

Definitely an interesting read, one of those books that just pulls you in and makes you want to keep reading when you should be sleeping. Technically it is a suspense/mystery type genre, but there is so much romance that you almost forget about the danger the heroine is in.

Vicki is a very likable main character who has been in hell recently, starting with the loss of her sister and her need to protect her niece by any means necessary. Enter Juan, a cop with several demons of his own and just watch the sparks fly.

*I received this book free in return for an honest review.

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Dance Like No One Is Watching

You know those concerts you have in the car when no one is around to hear you belt out off key lyrics? Or what about the dance parties, in your empty home, when everyone is out? Why do we feel so much better about doing things when no one is around? What happened to that old time saying; dance like no one is watching?

Well, I for one can’t dance to save my life. I have no rhythm, not even a little bit. And my singing is even less awe inspiring. Due to that fact, I frequently find myself freezing in the middle of a little hip sashay to make sure no one can see me or mouthing the lyrics to my favorite songs when anyone else is in the house or car to ensure no one can hear me.

Tonight, as I was cooking dinner, I decided to throw on some music. Of course, when a few of my favorites came on I started moving and singing in the kitchen. The funny thing is everyone was home. But this time, I decided I just didn’t care. Why should I? Life is entirely too short to limit yourself of the things that bring you joy. Now does that mean I’m writing a whole blog about singing or dancing? Nope, that would be silly wouldn’t it?

But I am making a point. How many times do we let what others may think or say about us hinder us from doing things? True, my example above was as simple as dancing or singing. But what about everything else? You want to make changes in your life, maybe in your friendships, jobs, health or whatever and you hold back out of fear of other people’s opinions. Why do we do this? I know as kids we were taught to be nice to everyone and try to make friends. Is that where our drive to make sure everyone likes us comes from? As grown adults its time to just jump into things feet first. People are going to talk and have opinions regardless. Basically, we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. So, we just as well enjoy the journey and leave this life with no regrets.

Young Beautiful Lady Run On Sea Or Ocean Beach In Water Splash.

Time For A Change

For weeks now I have battled with the fact that I need to make some major changes in my health. How often is it we know what we need to do, but we just keep procrastinating on doing the things? We have aches and pains that we know could be alleviated if we did the work. We have trouble finding clothes we like in our budgets. Some of us are lacking the necessary confidence we should have.

You are definitely not alone. There are so many of us out there who know what we need to do to be happier with the body we are in and the ability to move it like we want. Remember when getting off the couch was not a chore? Walking up a flight of stairs didn’t always take our breath away now did it? Heck there was a time when strutting around in heels did not hurt my knees, what about you?

We make excuses. I’ll start next week. It doesn’t matter, I never stick to it anyway. It’s too hard. I’m just too old now. Whatever the excuse, don’t you think you are worth it? Worth having more energy, confidence and better health?

I started making changes recently and my scale is already reflecting those changes. So in order to make sure I don’t give up this time, I’m going to bring people along for the journey so to speak. I am adding an extra section to my current blog that will include the high points as well as the stumbling blocks along the way. My hope is that it may just encourage someone to join me in going after the goals they hope to achieve or perhaps just cheer me from the couch! Either one works!IMG_7495

The Escape Room

*I received a free advanced copy of this book in return for an honest review.

The general concept of this book really captured my interest. Imagine working in a high powered realm where you are always competing with others. Then you are invited to what appears to be a team building exercise through an Escape Room game. Over time you finally realize this is not a corporate event but rather someone’s attempt at revenge. Now you are stuck in an elevator with people you despise and definitely distrust.

Over the course of the book there are a lot of flashbacks to teach the reader the secrets each person has that may have something to do with why this is happening. The book has a good concept, but I must admit that some of the events are a little far fetched. But if you just want something to grab your attention, give you some entertainment and a little suspense it works.

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Pretty Revenge

I have to admit, I was not blown away by this one. The book had a lot of promise based on the primary theme but it didn’t deliver. It never bodes well for me when I realize I’m struggling to maintain interest in a book.

First of all, if you are trying to get revenge you would think she would have a bigger plan than the little minor things she did like erased messages. The book drags to make you understand both women and what they went through as children to build up to a massive climax that doesn’t happen. Instead it seems like the ending was just a rushed jumble to just wrap everything up in a neat unrealistic bow quickly to save time.