Not Everyone Will Support Your Next Level!

You are finally making all the changes you have talked about forever. Instead of just talking the talk, you are walking the walk. The weird thing is, not everyone seems to be happy for you. Sometimes you would be surprised who supports you evolving and who may try to ambush your forward motion. If you are feeling the backlash of your attempts to move to the next level, here are a few steps to help you out.

• Know when it’s time to let go. For some people, change is quite simply overrated. They are much more content staying in the same place with as little change to life as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes that person also feels threatened by your need to change. If you have already tried talking to someone to explain what your changes mean to you and requested their support to no avail, it may simply be time to accept they will never be there in the capacity you hoped for and let go.

• Negative Energy is just a waste of time and energy. You know the people I mean, they never seem to be happy about anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever. If you know someone is always super negative, you may want to try to limit some of your interactions with them to shorter time spans whenever possible. Sometimes there are people you simply can’t eliminate entirely because you work with them or perhaps they are family. But you can certainly try to keep your interactions to a minimum whenever possible. All that negative energy takes a toll and limits your energy which in turn impacts your progress in the things you are trying to do.

• Love from a distance. Some people mean well, they really do. But they don’t always understand that putting down your efforts to change or constantly trying to question why is not supportive. In their minds they may really think holding you back is in your best interest. While you may love your Aunt Jane, her constant attempts to convince you that women belong at home in the kitchen can become annoying. Loving someone does not mean you need to do so up close and personal on a regular basis. If you need to pull back for your own sanity, do so.

• Seasons change. We have all heard the sayings about people being in our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. As much as it may hurt, sometimes we just must accept that someone’s season is over. Let me give you an example, one friend I met a long time ago during a very dark period in my life seemed great, until I started to move on and make changes to get out of that darkness. Finally, I had to accept that she preferred me down or depressed because that’s how she always was. My changes were like a threat to the friendship, as they say negativity breeds negativity.

How do you typically handle people who don’t support your attempts to improve or get better? Have you ever let it make you give up entirely?

Take a Rest Recreation Carefree Concept

The Royal Wedding

LOS ANGELES - JAN 19:  Meghan Markle at the NBC TCA Winter 2014

As the Royal Wedding draws near, there is a lot of media frenzy around the bride’s estranged family. Although it has been noted in several venues that Meghan has not spoken to several of the relatives on her fathers side in several years, much less spent any time with them, they keep speaking out. Of course, all the interviews and social media outreach they have done has been negative and disparaging against Meghan.

Now the question is, what could they possibly have to say, what insight could they possibly really give about someone that they have not spoken to or seen in years?? Of course, in this instance it really could just be people trying very hard to get their 15 minutes of fame. Or perhaps there is simply some jealousy there, because why should she have all this attention and fame? How dare she? What makes her so special?

Perhaps what they really need to realize and accept is Meghan put in the work to take her career exactly where she wanted to go prior to any relationship. There is no reason her extended family could not buckle down and pursue their own goals if they wanted to reach accomplishments in their field. As far as her relationship, she met someone and fell in love. Should she feel guilty because of his status or because of who he is? Should she not marry him and forgo happiness just to make them feel better about themselves? Of course not.

At the same time, they are trying really hard to make her look like a villain for not inviting them to her wedding. But let’s get real. Why on earth would you want people at your wedding that you have not spoken to in years, have no real relationship with and who drags your name through the mud at the first chance they get??

While most of us are not celebrities having weddings of this stature, the same principle applies to us. Your wedding is meant to be a special day for you and your significant other to celebrate your love and commitment with the people closest to you in life. You should not have to feel obligated to invite people simply to avoid them saying negative things about you or to appease what people think. What experience have you had with your wedding or those of others that included negative antics from family? How was it handled? Do you have any advice for Meghan as she launches into the next phase of her life as a new bride?

Smartass & Sass

Anyone who knows me knows; sarcasm is my second language. Heck, sometimes it’s my first! 😂 Due to that fact, I could not resist when I found out there was a subscription box for sarcasm lovers!

The original box gives you a variety of products that all apply to a different theme each month. Recently they expanded on that and added a sarcastic Tshirt box. Can’t decide which box you want? You don’t have to, you can opt for the ‘Big Box’ that includes the original box and the Tshirt in one box!

To give you an idea of the things you might recieve, I’m reviewing my last box below. This is what your typical box will look like:

The theme for this box was ‘That’s My Jam’ The first item is the dishcloth. Now, while the saying is cute, the texture is not really something I would use on a regular basis.

Now the Koozie on the other hand is just adorable and functional at the same time.

Almost all the boxes include some type of notepad or tablet and this one was no exception:

And what’s a pad without a pencil??

This cute little box is actually a planter that includes both the soil and seeds. So far I don’t have any growth just yet, so I guess I really can’t touch this! Corny, I know!

This box also includes this clever little spoon to make things a little interesting in the kitchen.

Now the cards are also a frequently included item. For people like me, who like the occasional paper correspondence in this mostly digital world it works.

This is probably my favorite item in the whole box. First of all I’m a major coffee addict so one with the bonus sarcastic quote is hitting the jackpot.

Of course if you opt for the shirt as well, you would have received this shirt with this box. Trust me when I say it is definitely a conversation starter when you go out in public wearing it!

Find the box interesting? Give it a try and see what you think. You can use my code below for a 15% discount while you are at it!

http://smartassandsass.refr.cc/ericathenry

Have you already tried it? Tell me your thoughts below!

Fab Fit Fun

Well I am now on my fourth box from Fabfitfun. If you are not aware of how it works, it is a seasonal box that arrives with full size samples of everything from makeup and skin care to bags and jewelry. Boxes are $49.99 per season or of course you can become a Select member by paying annually at $179.99

Now I went the seasonal route to see what all the hype was about. Like most subscription boxes there are some things you love and some – not so much. Put it this way, I’m still on the fence regarding continuing or canceling.

The items are full size as they promise. Unfortunately not everything will appeal to everyone. There have been things I loved initially but hated later. For example, one box had an amazing throw that I loved on sight. It was plush and beautiful and felt amazing. Unfortunately it shed everywhere on everything. And I do mean everything. I looked like a shedding cat had been in my lap and I don’t have a cat! I even tried washing it. It only got worse. Needless to say it got shoved in a closet. Then there was a necklace that I thought was gorgeous, I wore it once and it started changing colors.

Don’t get me wrong, there have also been things I love. My favorite mug so far has been a wonderful design from a collaboration they did with Ayesha Curry. It’s my go to every morning!

But I digress, getting back to the most recent box. It’s better than the previous boxes I’ve recieved so far. Now how do I judge that? There are fewer items in this one that I will be giving away than normal. 😂

The boxes do all have great design and packaging.

This one came with a handy massager, I’ll probably never use it but who knows. If anything it will just become junk in the closet.

Now the eye mask, I love. Not only is it an attractive design but it comes with a nice cooling packet that I can’t wait to try.

The lovely ridge filler will definitely be a give away since I get my nails done regularly. However it may be great for someone who does her own hands.

The lip colors are cute. However they don’t seem to last very long. Perhaps they are good as long as you are just staying in.

The reversible clutch was cute and I was looking forward to using it. Unfortunately my zipper was broken so that will end up being just junk unless I can figure out how to fix it.

This I love, it’s super cute. I’m a little scared to wear it because I don’t want it to change colors. However, I am going to give it a shot because it’s just too cute to pass up.

I’m a fan of lotion so this came in handy. It does have a great smell and a nice consistency so that’s a plus for me.

I love candles, so I was also happy about this. The fragrance is great as well so that’s a major plus.

This seems cute, have not tried it just yet but I’m willing to give it a try if it helps my lips.

All in all it was better than normal so for now I will give it at least one more try before making a decision one way or the other. Have you tried it? What was your experience?

Fixing Her Crown

We have all heard the saying that real queens fix each other’s crowns. Yep, it’s a great hashtag – makes a pretty good meme as well. But how many of us can really say that’s what we do day in and day out? While I would like to believe we all start out with the best intentions, we fall short, myself included. But let’s think about it, if we all looked in the mirror and truly chose to try to support, encourage and love on other women every day what an impact that could really make? Let’s just look at a few ways we can fix another woman’s crown starting now:

• Stop Sipping Tea – In other words, don’t gossip about another woman behind her back, even if all you do is listen and laugh you are still complicit. If you are in the company of others putting someone down, first try to change the subject, if that does not work perhaps you should remove yourself. Just as you would not like finding out a so-called friend was bad mouthing you behind your back, they would be just as bothered by that behavior from you.

• Set the Foundation – Make sure that another woman knows who you are and that she can count on you, I mean really count on you. If you say you will do something, you do it. If you say you will be somewhere, you will be there with bells on. Real friends are quite often the one person you have that you can talk to about everything: the guy that just dumped you, the promotion you didn’t get, the financial problems you are experiencing. When times are hard a woman wants someone she can count on, not someone who is only there when it suits them.

• Honor Code – Tell them the truth, do not lie to them and set them up to get really hurt in the long run! If she is falling for a guy and telling you all the warning signs she see’s do not lie to her and try to convince her those signs aren’t real! It’s better to be there for her and tell her the truth now than watch her get cheated on, abused or taken advantage of in the long run. The same goes for when she is wrong about something. You know how it is, they are telling us their side of an argument and instead of telling her she needs to go back and apologize we encourage her to stay on the wrong track!

• Encourage, Love & Support – There is enough room for all of us to succeed: at life, love, careers whatever it is we want to do. Don’t ever let jealousy or envy fester in your heart. Yeah, we all may feel it a time or two, but acknowledge it and let go of it. Your time will come. Encourage another woman to go after everything she deserves, support her when she stumbles and love her through it all. If she is a good friend, she will do the same for you as you try to reach your goals in life. Yes, we all like to say we don’t need anyone, we can do it on our own. But think about how much joy there is in doing it together, cheering each other in the process!

What other ways can you help fix another woman’s crown? I would love to hear your thoughts!

pretty brunette woman wearing crown

Stop with the Negativity!

 

Some conversations drain you. Let’s just be honest, some people drain you. The negative, angry with the world thing can be too much and zap all your energy out. Recently after looking forward to an event, I lost all excitement in less than an hour, I kid you not. It was a barrage of one person after another complaining about everything. Like aren’t you happy about anything in your life?? Anything?

 

The thing some of us try to avoid is simply cutting people or situations out of our lives. But sometimes, it’s just what is best for us and our wellbeing. Now obviously there are some people and situations you must deal with, but you can definitely try to limit the time required to a minimum.

 

Now be really honest with yourself, are you the negative one in your group? The person who is never happy about anything? You may be and not even realize it. Think about your recent interactions with other people and the things you contributed to the conversation. Was any of it positive and upbeat? Or looking back did it just seem like frustration and complaints about everything?

 

Even if you are the culprit, you can change that. Starting now. Start looking at the things in your life that you have gratitude about. I don’t care how small it may seem. Feeling frustrated about someone giving you attitude at work? Remember you have a job while others are trying hard to find one. Annoyed your husband left the bathroom in disarray yet again? There are widows and divorcees wishing for those moments again. You get the idea. For every negative thought, try to find a positive – even if its just the cup of coffee you are going to go have while you reset your thoughts!

 

What steps can you do today to make sure you are not the person others dread interacting with?

negative

YoungBoy

Ok I admit, I didn’t even know who YoungBoy was prior to all the shenanigans when the story broke about his girlfriend. If you have been missing out on your social media updates, the feeds were full of updates regarding him allegedly forcing his girlfriend to sleep in a hotel lobby while he entertained other women in his hotel room. Of course, someone took pictures of her and posted them online, but she further fueled the fire by making videos trying to say everyone was blowing it out of proportion. Later more photos surfaced of him taking her shopping to make it up to her.

Everyone is in a tizzy about this, but lets look at it realistically.

• First, she is only 17 so perhaps she just does not have the maturity yet to fully know her worth. Let’s be honest, there are grown women who have accepted some of the same treatment if not more for years.

• We are not in their relationship, perhaps they had a clear understanding from the very beginning that there would be some type of open door policy.

• In her mind, this may be all she thinks she deserves. Or worse, she may see it as a sign of someone who really loves her.

Now on some grown woman ish, lets be brutally honest. How many of us know grown women who accept being disrespected on the regular?? This is not some weird thing that only happens when a man is a celebrity. We have all been there – perhaps not to this degree – but we were probably fortunate enough to have friends, family or dang strangers ready to shake some sense into us.

In that light, perhaps instead of bashing her, we should pray for her. Hopefully someone close to her can be there for her when she really concludes she deserves better. But as women, we have got to stop bashing and start supporting and guiding the younger generation into the type of women they truly have the capability to be.