As hard as it may be to believe, we only have about 4½ months left in 2021! Considering how much this year has thrown at us so far, that could be a relief to some in the overall scheme of things right?

Well as much as we may be ready to swipe the slate clean of this year, there are still some things to think about. How many of your goals have you really been working on and how many stalled in motion months ago? Things happen, I get it. But stumbling is no reason to throw in the towel. So, you may not be exactly where you wanted to be at this point in the year, the question is, what are you going to do about it? Here are a few steps to help you get back in the game:

  • Find your original goal list to reassess what you planned as well as your status on each item. There is always a chance that some of your goals have changed over the past few months.
  • Didn’t have a written plan in the first place? That’s ok, take the time to write one now. I know, I know, some people make fun of writing it down. But it works, ok? Putting it in writing helps you determine what is important to you. Changing it from a thought to a goal.
  • Now, take those goals and break them down. What small things can you do each day, week, or month to put the wheels in motion?
  • Let’s take it a step further now, put concrete dates next to each of those goals. For example, if you want to go back to school, lets be proactive here. You will research schools and make a choice by a certain date. Enroll by another date. Etc. You get the idea.
  • Find an accountability partner if needed. This can be your spouse, best friend or a relative. It doesn’t matter. But it needs to be someone you trust. Someone that will hold you to the fire when you make excuses not to meet your preset goal dates. They will also be some of the first people that you can celebrate your wins with!

This list is just a guideline to get you refocused. But let’s be honest, it really will come down to you making the decision to stop making excuses and go after the life you truly desire. What is your go to method of reaching goals? Do you have a particular goal for 2021 you still want to reach? Drop me a message, I would love to hear all about your plan of action. Let’s do this!

One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in marriage is letting all the outside influence of family impact their marriage. Quite often, that influence comes in the form of that loving mother-in-law, that’s just not so loving.

How often are we taught that once married, we are to become one with our spouse? As much as we may be used to our mother being one of our first priorities, that is supposed to change with marriage. Now the person that was given to you in front of God should come first, after God of course. Unfortunately, there are so many marriages being torn apart at the seams because of the division being caused by one spouses’ mother.

Let me give you an example. In my first marriage, my MIL was not really a fan of mine. She constantly found something wrong with everything I did. From the way I arranged my kitchen to how much I fed her son. Who by the way was a grown ass man eating just fine. Not to mention, grown men, can feed themselves you know. But I digress. At the time, I would let her complaints to my husband drive me nuts. Because of course he would repeat everything she said to me later, reconfirming for me how much she did not like me. Marriages will face a lot of outside influence with the potential to tear it apart, letting family be one of them is a mistake.

As a member of several wife groups, I have had the opportunity lately to see how many women are dealing with much worse circumstances. Mother in laws who come to their homes and take over. Constantly gripe and complain about everything or just cause general chaos and fights in the home. What’s alarming is how many men side with their mothers and expect their wives to just accept their mother’s bad behavior vs how many men actually stand up for their wives.

The question becomes this, when your wife finally leaves, who is really to blame? Home is where we should all feel our most relaxed, safe, and loved. It should not feel like a battle zone of constant strife caused by outside forces. No one says you shouldn’t love your mother, but you do need to make sure to handle situations quickly that may impact your future with your spouse. If your mother left this world today, what would be the state of your marriage that was left behind?

How many times have you been in a conversation, and someone mentioned something that you have always wanted to do? Perhaps they mentioned doing yoga, traveling more, or going back to school. The possibilities are endless. Your brain clicked and you recalled how many times you have said you would do such and such. You know, when you are married, when you make more money, when your kids are out of the house….

How do you know you even have until tomorrow to keep putting off the things you want to do? Recently I saw a meme that really gave me pause, so I looked it up to see if I could determine who said it:

‘Procrastination is the arrogant assumption that God owes you another chance to do tomorrow what He gave you the chance to do today.’ ~Bishop Rosie O’Neal

Really gives you something to think about, doesn’t it? If you knew your this was your last day on earth, how many regrets would you have? Then stop making excuses! Yes, some of your goals may seem really big, so what? Stop looking at the big overall puzzle and instead think of it as looking at one small corner. I know you put puzzles together as a child. Some you were able to do in no time, others may have taken days, weeks or even months. But you did it one piece at a time. Same principle applies here. Figure out one small piece of the puzzle that you can do this week that will help you get one of your goals started in the right direction. Do it. Now, what is the next piece you need? The possibilities are endless if you would simply get out of your own way.

This damn pandemic has caused a lot of change for everyone, especially the inability to interact with people like normal. Due to that lack of social interaction, I have been working hard to increase the way I reach out to others. Since the pandemic started well over a year ago, I have made it a point to send more cards and gifts to people because I really wanted to make sure people felt cared about and seen in such a trying time.

What has been interesting have been the responses, or lack thereof. There are a lot of people who just never even bother to acknowledge a gift received, not even just simply to confirm they got it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean children. Children get a free pass, because well, they are children. But grown ass adults are another thing altogether.

While venting about this recently to my husband, he tried to get me to see it differently by reminding me I give without expecting anything in return. That part is true, I have always liked getting people gifts and I do not ever feel that requires getting a gift back. HOWEVER. I do expect acknowledgement of my effort. Even if you don’t like the gift you can say, hey thanks for thinking of me.

The more time I have spent thinking about this lately, my mind has changed a lot. I felt like I was doing this to make others feel less alone, but I realize I was also doing it so that I felt less alone as well.

The petty side of me says if someone is not appreciative, do not ever send them anything else, stop wasting time on people who don’t care about your feelings. The nurturing side keeps arguing that point like the Angel on the other shoulder. Stopping only means changing who I am, and you really do not want to let a few people change your inner light. Be who you are, even if you must find the right people who will appreciate that person.

Allie moves to a brand-new town with her husband and son. She is looking forward to making new friends and having a nice fresh start in new surroundings. One of the neighborhood parties brings about interesting developments when a local man starts hitting on her in a manner that suggests he knows her. The next day he is found dead.

Suddenly she is being accused of having an affair with this man she swears she never met prior to that night. Text messages and a Tinder profile seem to prove otherwise.

The book has that classic mystery draw, holding your attention in the effort to figure out who did what. Just when you think you know, you realize you don’t know anything. There are some aspects when she should have just come clean about things from her past that just seemed common sense. What’s the point in being married if you don’t feel you can trust your spouse to hear you out?

It does make you a lot more conscious of just how easy it is to have your entire life manipulated thanks to social media and the internet. Almost makes you want to get offline completely. Almost.

#IDontForgiveYou 

For the love of everything holy, please stop comparing your relationship to the version of someone else’s you see on the internet! You do realize that most people only show you the good times, right? And let’s not even talk about the fact that quite often, a lot of what you see is not even the good times, it’s just the version of reality they want to put out there.

As of late, several high-profile couples have called it quits to the astonishment of their fans. They were such a perfect couple; they just can’t believe this could happen. Reality is, most of the time, we have absolutely no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Those so-called perfect couples may be going through a lot. Disrespect, infidelity, abuse or more.

High profile or not, as soon as a couple makes it clear they have parted ways, everyone has something to say. People jump on the comment section or in their DM’s trying to convince them to forgive the person and just make it work because they just looked so good together. Key word, looked. They may have looked good together, but obviously something needed to be addressed if they have called it quits. Unless you are simply praying for their wellbeing, what is the point of putting all that pressure on people? Don’t you think they are going through enough without having to deal with every random person’s opinions?

The next time you compare your relationship to someone else’s, keep that old saying in mind. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Water your lawn and stop wishing for something that may just be much worse than your current reality.

If you are watching the latest season of Married at First Sight, you already know all about Chris and Paige. They have been the most talked about couple since episode one. Unfortunately, it is not because they make such a wonderful match. Instead, they are the talk of every episode because of all the foul things Chris has either done or said to his new bride.

First, he was not very subtle from the beginning when he made it clear she was not his type. However, that did not seem to stop him from sleeping with her, multiple times, without protection. He has exhibited all the behavior we all have experienced at some point from someone who manipulates you every step of the way. He confesses he is still in love with his ex and wants to be with her. Yet he keeps communicating with Paige and giving her false hope of a future he has no intention of giving her.

At this point, most of us have washed our hands of the whole thing. We started off feeling sorry for Paige and wanting her to have a do over. Lately, several of us have been finding ourselves annoyed with her for continuing to keep letting him lead her on. But at some point, the question must be, where are her friends?? Are her friends simply not aware of what is happening? Is she keeping them all in the dark? What is happening?

We all have that one friend who gives it to us straight, no chaser. The one that would grab us and shake us if need be. Why aren’t her friends helping her through this? Or maybe they have tried, and that part is edited out.

True enough, sometimes our friends try to talk to us, and we just make excuse after excuse for accepting less than we deserve. Mostly just because we would rather make excuses and hold on rather than start over with someone new. Sometimes, we must make up our minds all on our own. Hopefully, before this season is over, Paige will decide she is a Queen who deserves someone who makes her his number one priority. When that happens, her friends will be right there to help her straighten her crown.

After only a year of marriage, Hannah’s new husband suddenly disappears. The only contact is a short note delivered to her with only two words: Protect her. She intuitively knows the ‘her’ he is referring to is his 16-year-old daughter. The same 16-year-old who hates having her as a new stepmother and wants absolutely nothing to do with her. She has been alone with her dad since her mother’s death when she was extremely young.

Both the FBI and US Marshalls are also looking for her husband, apparently his boss has been arrested for suspicion of illegal activities and they need to know if he was involved or aware of everything.

In between fielding questions from law enforcement as well as trying to find her husband, Hannah is digging into Owen’s past to figure out if she ever really knew the man she married.

The book pulls you in and makes you want to find out what happened. It is one of those things that make you second guess whirlwind romances and quick marriages. Can you ever really know someone in a short time? True she loved her husband, but as it turns out, there was a lot she did not know. On top of that, she is left to deal with all the bombshells while trying to care for a resentful teenager who wants nothing to do with her and lashes out as any normal teenager might do.

While I did enjoy the book, I admit I was not crazy about the ending. Some things are resolved, just not necessarily the way you may hope. If you are looking for a good page turner that will keep you pulled in until the end, it does the job.

Disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.

Spoilers Ahead:

Well, I saw this one being compared to books like ‘Gone Girl’, but I would not go that far. A highly successful attorney is working the most important case of her career, defending her husband for the murder of his mistress. The mistress that was found dead in their bed at their second home. It’s a decent book, with lots of twists and turns you probably would not see coming. However, if you read a lot of books in this genre, you will probably figure out who did it early on.

Pros: The book keeps your interest and you do want to finish it. It’s perfect if you like to see someone extract revenge on someone that did them wrong. In this case, it’s a wife that works extremely hard to afford the luxury lifestyle she and her husband live. Multiple homes, luxury cars, designer clothes… He in turn has written one book that was a success, every book since then has bombed. He convinces her to purchase a home out in the country with beautiful views and lots of quiet to work on his writing. However, instead of just writing, he starts a long affair with a local waitress in the area.

Cons: There are a lot of moments when things are just so farfetched it does not even make sense. She goes through a lot of trouble to exact revenge on her cheating husband and pulls the wool over everyone’s eyes in the process. The investigation must have been extremely lax that not one clue was found, and she was never even considered a suspect, not once.  Not only that, but it turns out she has been a master at killing people with no suspicion since she was young and killed her mother?

While I’m all for a woman making him regret he ever screwed over her, it was a lot. He didn’t just go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit, he ended up dying by lethal injection. It’s an interesting read, when you have some free time and just want to get lost in something else, just be prepared to understand that some things are seriously farfetched.

I know, I know, not my usual content. But I watched a reality show recently (big surprise) where something piqued my interest. Not a big surprise for me, I know. 

The spouse had done something for the wife to help her out, basically handling a situation for her with her mother. Afterwards he made a comment asking if what he did was worth sex. She pretty much blew off the comment and told him to go to his office.

Since that time, I have seen a lot of banter on social media in multiple groups. Some people felt blowing off his comment was the same as basically pushing him to cheat. The general thought being if he is asking and you say no you are literally telling him to go somewhere else. Especially since there have been allegations in the past of him stepping out.

But let’s look at this. Are we really saying that women can never say no to a man or he will cheat? Is that really what we want to teach our daughters? You must always do what he wants when he wants, or else? There are going to be times when we are tired or just not in the mood. The response is not retaliation by cheating, its contribution. What do I mean by that? Well, if she is tired, have you considered what she does in a day and thought of ways to help out? Perhaps handling the kids for a while so she can have a break or handling some of her tasks to free her up a bit. If she is not in the mood, have you considered your approach? Are you romancing her, seducing her or just groping and trying to pounce? Most of us, take a little time to warm up. Think preheating an oven instead of the zap of a microwave.

Beyond that, it is definitely not an excuse to cheat. At any time one spouse is unhappy, the key is to communicate the concerns. The response is not to just ignore your vows and do whatever or whoever you want. Because let’s be honest, as a man, you would have a fit if she did the same!